LeilaAbuSaba

I Walk the Beach with You in My Heart

In family life, poem on October 17, 2009 at 4:10 am

I WALK THE BEACH WITH YOU IN MY HEART

By Mary Edith Bentley Abu-Saba

I meander on the beach, remembering your curls
The softness of your hair, the bounce in your step
Your stride that thrusts you way past me
Your unceasing flow of words, words, words….

I ache to see you today on the beach
To hear your streaming sentences
Your laughter at the boys chasing the sand pigeons
Your stream of opinions about the Middle East
The World, Politics, Whose In-Whose Out.

How could it happen so quickly—moving from a
Formidable force of joy, hopes, dreams and stories
To a still and somber body gasping for breath
Refusing to go quietly into The Other World?

I fantasized pulling you back, fighting to keep you here
“But her children need her!” was my argument with Fate
“She has much to say to so many people” was another
“Simply, we can’t do without her….so there!”

I walk in a dream-like state, trying to bargain still
Trying to think of just the exact thing I could have done
To twist your route toward continued abundant living
While walking with me on my path to the terrestrial garden

I wanted forty-seven more years of earthly encounters for you,
To read scores of books, and write fiercely
To argue with the obvious, To ask for the impossible
To shout your joy “Look! I am Alive!”

Silence overtook me, and finally…. I accepted.
Not easily, mind you, but with determination
To hold fast to our memories of your gleaming lights,
To love and care for those little ones you left behind.

And So Let It Be.

October 16, 2009

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