My name is Joni. I am NOT a Writer, an Activist, a Cook, a Blogger, a Mother, or a friend from the Neighborhood, Now or Then. I am certainly not an intellectual, far from it. I am not terribly political, at least not about Middle East Politics. I am not even an Old Friend.
What I AM is one of the very few people that Leila allowed to be with her in her final weeks and days. And it has changed me.
I guess my role with Leila was that of Cheerleader and Confidante. We only really got to know each other about this time last year. I had known her peripherally for years before that, but our paths did not cross much. To be quite honest, she intimidated the heck out of me- she was so smart, beautiful, fiery, dominant, educated, I could go on and on about the things about her that impressed and terrified me. Maybe it was the things I was not that allowed her to open up to me in such a deep and intimate way. We talked about everything-hopes, fears, love, things that we were trying to give up…… cancer.
I had a brush with ovarian cancer back in 1996. I survived due to the fact that it was caught in the very early stages, but also due to my strong faith in miracles and God. I firmly believed that Leila was going to beat her cancer and that God and Miracles would play a large part in her triumph. Sadly, that was not the outcome.
I spent a lot of time with Leila in her last weeks and days. I was with her when she took her last breath. She NEVER gave up hope that a miracle would happen. I have never seen such strength of will, courage, kindness, and probably never will. Leila was always thinking of others, even in her final days. Leila didn’t complain, at least not to me, about her condition. She never talked about being in pain, even when I knew she was. Leila was concerned about us- were we getting rest? Had we been paid for groceries we picked up for her? Were we ok?
I can say that Leila was at peace in her final days, as much as somebody who absolutely- does- not- want -to -die can be at peace.
As I read the stories of those whose lives Leila has touched, real and virtual, I am so moved. Leila has brought us all together! Not only that, I for one am going to start reading and cooking more. I will take more of an interest in my neighborhood. I will read about Lebanon and the Middle East conflict, and get involved in making a difference. I have already started writing 
Thank you, Leila. I love you and will never forget you. You are the Miracle.
